When you first become pregnant, you're bombarded with all of the "stuff" that you simply must have in order to take this little bundled person you leave the hospital with and transform them into a normal, functioning human being over the course of the next 18+ years. And, then you realize that people have been having babies for centuries and most of this stuff hasn't been around quite that long, but yet somehow people have survived. Therefore, you (and your baby) probably will, too.
It's easy to see that now that I'm on the other side of things, but as some of you might remember, I just about had a meltdown while I was in the thick of it. It's just overwhelming. What I found most helpful was talking to people who had recently had children and finding 1-2 really good, practical books that could help you weed out the useful from the over-the-top. During that process, I discovered that there are only a handful of things that belong on your "must-have" list, and then the "wants" vary from there. However, whether they labeled it a "want" or a "must-have," most everyone I talked to agreed that a comfortable chair, preferably a rocker, needed to be somewhere close to the top of one of those lists. Now, don't even get me started on the decision process of actually choosing said rocker - all you need to know is that we eventually found a good one.
Over the last five months, I've spent a lot of time there. Most frequently in the middle of the night. Rocking, back and forth, back and forth. There have been many sweet moment in that chair, but also many tears shed...even a few by my daughter. And I will be the first to say that usually I have not bounded out of bed at 4 a.m. and skipped across the living room and into the nursery to go and sit in that chair. It's usually a bit more labored than that, and it is likely accompanied by much grumbling and complaining.
But one night this week while I was rocking back and forth, it hit me - God has used my time in this chair. In the quietness of those moments, when it is just me and Sophia, He has brought specific issues and people to mind and encouraged me to pray for them. Things that I would've never even given a second thought to during the roar of a hectic day, He has been able to quietly whisper into my heart as I sit there in the silence.
Suddenly it didn't seem to matter quite as much that I now know the precise time that the paper is delivered or when the sun comes up. I'm humbled that God cares enough to spend these moments with me, shaping me, molding me and (hopefully) creating a better version of me.
So, now I'm learning to treasure the quiet moments in that rocking chair. It's where I've prayed countless prayers over our precious little girl, where I've cried out for rest, where I've lifted up the needs of friends and family. I'm so thankful for the hours I've spent there.
Oh, and I think I would now say without a doubt that a rocker should be on every new mom's "must-have" list.
Matthew Turns Four
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